The greatest gift of a master

00:00:28: Welcome, Satya.

00:00:30: You mentioned now Papaji and I feel like you still have such a devotion in connection towards him And he said also or you mention already that you spend five years there.

00:00:47: every day satsang very close surrounding.

00:00:51: so in these five years What has been the biggest

00:00:56: gift

00:00:56: for you with those five years, but also what was the biggest disappointment in these five years?

00:01:05: The biggest gift was to be able to be with him every day and have the proximity.

00:01:10: And Also too To be known by him.

00:01:16: You know I wasn't just an anonymous person around and that Was the biggest gifts at.

00:01:23: you felt you are taking care by him and he knows who you are.

00:01:31: So that was the biggest gift, definitely.

00:01:36: The proximity is availability – it's always been a big gift!

00:01:43: Was there also in your way one-to-one conversations or if something like personal relationship?

00:01:51: How were they between you and Papaji?

00:01:54: Yeah, it was not like.

00:01:57: when I came back let's say from a trip he would not tell me how are you doing?

00:02:01: It wasn't mountain talk at all.

00:02:05: At least for maybe some others... Some people were having more private time with him and never felt to be working in his house or knew that they could ask.

00:02:17: He wouldn't have said no but I was too wild!

00:02:21: For me as an old man To go for walks at five o'clock in the morning with him.

00:02:28: In the dirt, um...in pollution and this was not my saying.

00:02:32: so I felt very lucky also feel that i didn't have to do it in his life.

00:02:38: That..I was somehow blessed to still had these intense contact without having all time grabbing on him.

00:02:49: I could still live a kind of free life, let's say.

00:02:55: If one can call it a free life but... So this was big gift But i knew that any time I would go to him and talk with him if there is an issue or just like that.

00:03:10: It was very available.

00:03:11: we could eat in his house Especially the years.

00:03:16: The more he went towards Going away the more you felt like he gives it all that there was no more privacy or This was amazing.

00:03:29: So, there was always a possibility to.

00:03:32: I didn't misuse because sometimes people were a little bit misusing it You know asking him for every little thing they have to do.

00:03:38: No, I felt one has too also had a certain dignity and not Misused this connection.

00:03:46: but if we don't want answer he would not answer, it was very free.

00:03:52: Somehow when I'm in Leutache here you know sometimes we go for a walk with Pari and look at this amazing massif of mountains especially.

00:04:03: there's one all the way down here And I've reminded that while I was with Papaji last year... ...I thought is like mountain but himself!

00:04:13: Not wavering or any doubt just like huge massive a huge mountain.

00:04:23: So this reminds me also of him!

00:04:28: You would say it's pure authenticity and pure love, so to speak?

00:04:35: It

00:04:35: was like unwavering really himself.

00:04:42: I never knew how he is going to behave.

00:04:45: For me, that's also the interesting phenomenon of masters.

00:04:49: Because most of time at least this is what I experience exactly those as you said already one day like he didn't want to have any disciples or doing a big ashram thing.

00:05:01: Or i'm The Big Master where it's Like.

00:05:06: for Me This Is A Kind Of Indicator.

00:05:08: Here You Are Meeting A Real Master And Then You Have Those Who are like Come to me, stay with me forever.

00:05:20: I will create such a dependency and make myself big in the marketing or whatsoever.

00:05:26: so it's two different worlds right?

00:05:30: And I feel like with Papaji was same.

00:05:32: here is...

00:05:34: It was diamond in the polluted city.

00:05:40: You know he had chances.

00:05:41: also some disciples wanted him too to move to Rishikesh and they would organize an ashram for him, everything.

00:05:50: No we had to be in Lucknow with them!

00:05:54: Was it due a specific reason?

00:05:56: Well he lived in Lucknell when there was the war between Pakistan and India.

00:06:02: He went to get all his family because he was living south-india In Madras also he was visiting Ramana.

00:06:10: at one point Ramana told him to go and take care of his family because there was a war between Pakistan.

00:06:18: And India, so he rescued his family with the last train that was coming back into India... ...and then somehow they settled in Lucknow.

00:06:27: Then for the first years he took care of all his families who were staying at very small houses downtown Lucknow.

00:06:37: He took care I don't remember if it was thirty people or forty?

00:06:42: And then people started to... his family members found their own life, you know.

00:06:48: But they were from Punjab and so he had been living in Lucknow.

00:06:55: His son was living in luck.

00:06:56: now actually the house where He was living-in was belonging to the wife of his son.

00:07:04: Then down town he moved them into this house which was prepared for

00:07:09: him.

00:07:11: It also reminds me now on a lotus flower, because the way how you describe Lucknow with all pollution and the dirt.

00:07:18: And as for the Lotus Flower it blossoms in

00:07:21: mud!

00:07:23: Not in a clear swimming pool!

00:07:25: Yeah...it was extreme weather conditions from a lot of heat and pollution.

00:07:32: yeah And coming back, so thank you also for sharing a little bit of that time.

00:07:38: Coming back to the second question as you said like you also faced your emotions and it was not five years embedded in rose petals but also facing your own emotions concepts whatsoever.

00:07:57: In these five years what would say is your biggest disappointment?

00:08:02: I cannot say that i had a big disappointment.

00:08:06: I felt sometimes alone and having to deal myself with all this, it was not always easy but I didn't have a big dissapointment.

00:08:34: Yeah, but it's also interesting because you were living in a crowd or in the community already right?

00:08:40: So

00:08:42: yeah Sure I have strong bond with some friends there But it was not a community.

00:08:52: It wasn't that not an ashram.

00:08:53: We are all in three individuals and we all had our own houses of flats Or we weren't working in Ashram.

00:09:01: It was very free Freestyle.

00:09:04: So, actually then you met during the satsangs?

00:09:07: Exactly.

00:09:08: Everybody was coming to the Satsang in the morning and of course with some people we had more affinities than others.

00:09:15: I met many people... ...I have phases being much more social.

00:09:19: towards the end i was hardly socialising.. ..i would run back into my house after satsang just to be quiet.

00:09:30: so yeah there were different phases also during these five years.

00:09:41: Yeah, yeah as we said like yesterday I think so that when you are in a satsang it's really intense right because...I don't know another dimension opens.

00:09:53: So its not just consuming or listening and also have to write chess.

00:10:01: I'm always astonished by people who can immediately talk of this at our concert.

00:10:06: Yeah, yeah!

00:10:06: It's like... I have no judgment for that.

00:10:09: it could also happen but is true with the time one gets maybe a question about time although there isn't any time But because last year you would feel they will not live long.

00:10:26: so there was certain urgency and One could feel it's not for granted.

00:10:35: This connection and this availability from him, so I wanted to soak in somehow.